Answer: Are You Still Sick?

in short: yes.

the whole social networking gestalt escapes me—but c'mon, gente, you do have my phone number (okay, i don't always turn on my phone) and my direct email address (well, okay, i forget to answer email, too) . . .

so, seriously: i've left everyone in the dark?

okay, i'll take that. i guess, in truth, i'm not much for discussing my private life, and i particularly do not love anything that sounds of distress. years ago, i wrote, somewhere, "there is nothing as clearly effortless as the human complaint." qué no?

to be perfectly clear: it's not my feet. physicians have a tremendous interest in my toes, heels, and soles, because that's where i'm most visually symptomatic. over the last two years, i've lost the ability to walk or stand, for any sustained period of time.

no, i'm not diabetic. i've been tested a million times (yes, that's hyperbolic). no, the etiology is not vascular. the same tests have been thoroughly run and rerun. a vascular surgeon finally ruled out that arena as the cause.

the one specialist who's been of any help at all, in terms of treatment, believes the correct diagnosis is autoimmune. on this point, i actually agree with a physician. that said, i can't get a rheumatologist in this area to run the tests i need, because i don't fit their ANA profile—even after i explain that current pathology (within the last twenty years) indicates that many people with autoimmune illnesses do not have positive ANA results, so other markers should be used. i still can't get them to run other tests; they say they "wouldn't understand" the panels i want.

i've changed PCPs three times, in two years. now, i've changed HMOs. if that doesn't work, i'm leaving this rural forest burg and its surrounding idiocy, for a return to civilization.

this isn't much information; i know. but who really wants an entire med history on the web?

facts are: i have some sort of chronic, aggressive illness; i'm fighting it; i intend to win.

it won't be the first time.

here's hoping it's the last.

thanks for asking.

~emmanuela