On Harm Reduction, NGOs, and Photography

ay, processing the new photos of la lenni has been difficult . . .

it's one thing, to have a concept worth shooting (excuse the pun). another world, entirely, to feel the impact of one's own concept.

earlier today, i was reading statistics from the world health organization. yeah, i do things like that. i had a question about current trending in HIV transmission, amongst women of color, both in the usa and worldwide. i didn't believe much had changed, since i checked the stats a year or so ago, and i am current with reportage, but i wanted to be certain.

turns out, the last compilation of statistics from the WHO is from 2008, so i hadn't missed anything of extreme importance, though the white papers are still issued on a regular basis.

all of this, yes, is part of what i do, as a non-governmental organization (NGO) photographer: all of my work, and my availability to other NGOs, is just the end result of my commitment to a host of nonprofit peace and justice actions.

i won't say it's "entertaining" work, but that's not really what i set out to do, on a daily basis.

after pondering the confluence between HIV realities; the necessary gendering of the topic, by the world health organization, and every other influential policy-making group; putting that together with recent activism for women in the congo; bringing that back to grassroots work, to end violence against women, in prisons and throughout the u.s.; together with some assumptions still held about the relative "safety" of sex within HIV+ groups, given "the cocktail" . . .

i went searching for two things: images depicting strong HIV education information, and harm reduction or needle exchange program data. i searched in several languages.

what i found were the same tired icons i've been seeing, since the '80s. i guess i thought, since i don't get out much, these days, maybe things had changed. nope.

so i turned to lenni, who happened to be in my office, and said, "hey, you wanna do something bold?"

she looked nervous.

i explained the concept to her, and she relaxed *s

what's hard for me, in reviewing these photos, is the raking memory of the night lenni inseminated me with our daughter—using a needless syringe, from a local women's clinic. it was part of an actual home insemination kit. (and you all thought we actually used turkey basters, back in the '80s. uh huh.)

we got pregnant, on the first try—despite the fact i'd had surgery to remove endocervical cancer, just a month prior, and the oncologist told me i wouldn't be able to conceive for at least a year. well, he'd also predicted i'd die . . .

lenni's never been able to stop crowing about what good aim she has . . .

the donor, a gay male friend, was not in the least hurt or upset, when we asked him to take blood tests, for everything from genetic disorders to HIV. he understood completely.

and lenni, as everyone in my close circle knows, is a recovering addict.

putting that syringe between her legs, to become the poster child for needle exchange and harm reduction, was hazardous for her, emotionally. we discussed babies born with addictions, and those who die of AIDS-related complications. i had to express to lenni why i wanted to do this . . . and i said i was willing to do it myself, if she wasn't comfortable.

so, big ups to la lenni.

i just gotta say: for everyone who finds these photos (the two i even allowed into public view) to be "beautiful," here at home, they're hitting some major sore spots, for two older women of color, who have seen too fucking much, and are just happy we're here to make a difference, if we can.

~emmanuela