first time for everything . . .

yes, talib cancelled.

it was a combination of foul weather, an insane traffic jam . . . and nerves *s (you thought i didn't know about that last one, honey, but of course i did . . . mm hmm).

and everything happens as it should, for the most part: i'm not in love with ambient light photography, which is all we would have had, on that dreadfully rainy day.

look for a new session with talib, sometime in september.

which is any minute. crazy. already the leaves here in the fabled poconos are drifting toward my skylights, in pale yellows. when the rusts, ambers, merlots, and other deep foliage begins, the splendour of autumn is at its height—and tourism here traffics in madness.

to be honest, i've never lived in a place that wasn't a tourist area.

san diego is a desert oasis built with water purchased from the colorado river, all to attract tourists. coming up there, i didn't know what it was like not to be surrounded by all sorts of people, from many nations, and with many different accents.

the foothills of the rocky mountains, in colorado, are a much smaller version of tourism—and much less diverse. still, there are some differences, amongst both the inhabitants and visitors to the region.

here in the forests of the colonial period, it's easy to imagine nothing has changed for a century, even while standing at a contemporary construction site. there's a settled quality to this entire area: even the city planning evokes streets built for horses and buggies, rather than for the ease of vehicular travel.

and here is a place of so little diversity, people of color instantly acknowledge one another, as if we're all visitors to the island.

while i lived in boulder, my community teased me that i "imported" most of my friends from denver. that was largely true, due to the dearth of people of color in my immediate surroundings.

out here, my friends are mostly located in nyc. i've yet to become comfortable with the tiny streets and what seems to me unnecessary frenzy of philadelphia—though i do work in philly, when i meet models who reside there.

people keep telling me i should get to know philadelphia. my only lasting affiliation, at the moment, is with bread & roses, the organization for change (not charity) i support.

i might venture that way, rather than spending my free hours in nyc.

at the moment, i'm not convinced. new york offers endless . . . everything.

but, you know . . . first time for everything *s

petitions of convincing should be sent to my direct email address.

otherwise, now that my girl lyssie can drive (woot), it's back north for me.

thanks to everybody who's keeping up with my site, and offering comments,


~emmanuela

this pinche cabrón is on my last gay nerve.

and his "ad" motivated me to comment on a youtube video, for the first time in my life.

hijole la gran puta

.

the intrusion of possibility into circumstance . . .

Word is in: no cancellation for the shoot, tomorrow, so I need to do laundry; plan the concepts, sets, and props; and perhaps eat? Ay . . .

Fortunately, assistant PJ will be here (sans child, thank all good things), to help prep, and to act as Prop Master and Wardrobe Assistant. Life is not too bad . . .

And I have the mighty pleasure of visiting with Talib. Y'all won't recognize him (which, of course, is the point of transitioning, to some extent *s).

It is 1:06 a.m., Eastern Time, and a woman is screeching . . . in my forest. My property literally abuts State Forest Land, so one doesn't live any more "in the forest" than do I. Generally, this is safe harbor. I hear the nightly chorus of frogs and crickets. Strange, the intrusion of a human voice.

viewshock update

apparently, it takes me half a month (plus the time . . . oh, let's not think about that) . . . to update my website.

but it's finished.

ta da.

go have a look, and . . . tell me what i did wrong *s

i'm sleep-depraved, and i have a shoot, tomorrow. i think. unless i have a cancellation *s

thanks for hanging in there with me.

~emmanuela, tired