Autumn Begins

Autumn is one of my favorite times of the year . . . now that I know what it is to experience the changing seasons *s Growing up in Southern California didn't afford me much information about that, though I recall the "winter" trips to the low mountains, where deciduous trees did attempt a bit of a show.

While I don't love tourists, I confess I can almost understand why people want to make the drive up here to the forest where I now live: it's almost an impressionistic painting of color. My little one recently asked, in fact, whether someone painted the leaves *s Hey, she's not quite three; this is her first year really noticing . . .

So, new season, new updates.

Firstly, I can't see continuing to look at taking a new job at this time of year. There's just too much stress. So, I'm going to reconsider that again in the Spring.

Meanwhile, grant cycles will be hitting deadlines. To date, PJ Whitt and I have been funding the Claiming Masculinity project out of pocket—including all equipment and travel. This is beyond the fact that I do the sessions at no cost. When I initially conceived of this project, I had no idea there would be such tremendous interest. By the time I was scrambling for funds, the grant cycles were closed. I was new to the East Coast last year, and hardly even knew where to begin to look for grants out here. It is imperative, now, that I submit strong proposals, demonstrating the worth of this project.

In one sense, it's good that I had to wait three quarters of a year: now I have a good start on a portfolio of photographs to show.

Hey, so, if anyone has any ideas about funding opportunities, hit me up *s

That will take most of my time from December through March.

My other job has simultaneous deadlines. I'm trying very hard not to be stressed about that.

As I work and communicate more extensively with project participants, I'm learning that I need be very clear about a few things.

I think it's fair to say now that I'm not up for scheduling with anyone who cancels twice without extremely good cause. There are just too many participants waiting to be scheduled. So be sure you're clear about your calendar, if you book with me. Remember: I home office all week, to be with my little one, so I'm limited to scheduling photography sessions on the weekends. If you cancel, I may not have time to fill that slot. It's just poor planning for the project, all the way around. Let's be mindful of one another, please.

Also, keep in mind that, while I'm photographing models for Claiming Masculinity at no charge, I can't shoot a lot of photos unrelated to the project for free. I'll go broke, doing that . . . and really, you want me home as soon as possible, processing your images for public view. If you really need me to photograph other things unrelated to the project, please contact me to schedule a different time and to discuss fees.

Thus far, things are going great. We're getting good press. I'm forming friendships with a good many of my models.

I didn't expect this. I want to remind you all that this is not my project; it's our project.

For that, I am deeply grateful.

Contigo,

~Emmanuela

The End of Summer

August and September simply consumed me with work, so I haven't had a moment to blog. Don't hate me because I'm dutiful *s

The first weekend in August, Dre and I finally got together for a session. And what a remarkable journey that became.

Although Dre's initial idea was to be photographed in his natural environment, the gym, we went first into a tiny, airless yoga studio. The only ambient light was provided by overhead fluorescents. Of course, the amazing PJ Whitt, my co-conspirator, was on hand to hang backdrops, move what little furnishings were available, and—thank all good things—find a fan.

I have to say publicly and earnestly that Dre is one of the best natural models with whom I've had the pleasure to work—his devotion to creating the right photo ranks alongside professional models . . . without the attitude *s

What we were able to create together is available in Dre's portfolio in the Claiming Masculinity gallery.

Note: my site is down for the weekend. The way things have been going lately, I'd give it until the end of next week, before expecting its return. But it's not lost; there's just been a glitch. The geeks are working. All blessings to geeks.

The following weekend, PJ Whitt herself was the subject of yet another session. I'd been holding her photos in private stock, never quite certain which ones should be added to the project, but I finally selected three sets. Check out her portfolio, too.

I did website design and development for the next two weekends, uploading the recent sessions, and giving my whole site a new look and feel. As some participants are requesting family portraits, I wanted the site to be more inclusive, and less singularly focused on my work in figure studies. The Claiming Masculinity Project now has a direct URL of its own, and is accessible from the front page of my site.

Over Labor Day weekend, PJ and I drove to NoHo for a hot, sweaty butch-on-butch shoot . . . that just happened to feature a stunningly beautiful femme. I'm unclear, at this time, whether all three participants are in agreement as to whether that session should be made public.

In the main, all I legally need to show my work in public is a signed Release Form. However, as this project is hugely personal, I'm taking the extra step of asking each participant to approve all photos to be seen by the public. There has been far too much in the way of inaccurate and unwanted portrayals, for the queer communities. I said in the beginning I wouldn't work that way, and I stand by that.

The next session was structured in many parts: a single butch; several sessions with his wife; family portraiture; and individual family member portraits. Eight hours in the Bronx, with some loving, open, truly amusing people. PJ and I were happy to partake in a meal with the couple, then continue working.

When I processed the 2,000 photos, I was beyond annoyed to find that I'd lost over 500 shots to poor lighting. That's on me: I didn't want to ruin the coloration by using a flash, and I didn't request more lighting. Lesson learned. Sigh.

That session should be available online next weekend.

After that, I was once again in my element, shooting figure studies in my home studio. The model had a bad case of nerves, so we're discussing a second session, to ensure we have everything we want. Already, there is such beauty.

I still have to finish processing the 1,600 photos from that day. And that was just last weekend.

There is perhaps one weekend available in October. I'm really hoping not to work through the holidays, though I have a session scheduled for the day after Thanksgiving . . . and I'm actually looking forward to that *s

I should mention my pleasure with the willingness and grace each participant has brought to writing themselves into the project. For each narrative, I receive many emails praising the author. Thank you all for that.

~Emmanuela